An affair is a dangerously garbled plea for intimacy – an attempt, however wrongly enacted, to remember what we so
desperately want and need from love… Our societies are remarkably confident on the matter: affairs are terrible things and only fools, monsters and knaves would ever be involved in them. Those who are their victims deserve unending sympathy and access to a good lawyer. This stance may be clear, but it is not especially helpful given that, in reality, one in four of us will be involved in an affair during our lifetime. This is a book written to increase our understanding of what is really at stake: it looks beyond the caricatures to examine why affairs happen; it delves into the question of what being unfaithful means and why, despite the risks, it happens so often. Most importantly, this book seeks to help us through affairs, offering couples a better understanding of each other’s motivations and moods – and, where desirable, a way to save a relationship. We have for too long either openly condemned or secretly lusted after affairs: this, finally, is a chance to understand them.